At some point in time, you have to stop analyzing or being critical of things gone by and start figuring out how and what to do to shape things to be. Anchoring future decisions based on past experiences is one of the human fallacies, so don't fall prey.
Future isn't always guaranteed to stick to the plan.
You can't dictate the flow of events but you can have total control over what you are going to do this very next moment.
So go ahead and make a conscious move. Adjust the Sail, Turn the rudder, move your weight to one side or whatever it takes to try and control the direction or the flow of events as much as you can.
And if you can't figure out how to proceed. Don't Fret.
You may not know for sure what is the right thing to do but most of us instinctively know what not to do in most cases. So start there.
What i am trying to say is that you may not always have the opportunity to do the things you want to but at-least make sure you don't waste your time doing things that you are not supposed to.
Remember, you don't need a defining event to change your life. On the contrary, any moment you decide to take action you have begun the journey to change your life and make it better.